Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Red Bull

My boss loves Red Bull. He drinks it like water almost the entire time he's at the office. He keeps four-packs in the mini fridge in our lab and frequently offers a can to patients as they're leaving. It's kind of...his "thing."
My boss also has a rule about taking food and drink out of the lab to the front of the office, where we deal with patients, ring up sales, adjust glasses, etc. He thinks it doesn't look professional, munching or slurping while dealing with patients, and there's always a risk that we could spill something on the computer or someone's file. The rule would make sense -- if he followed it.
Yesterday I was standing up front preparing files for today's patients, completely minding my own business, when my boss ambled past me with a Red Bull in hand. At the end of the day on his way out, he usually stops by the register to print out a report and see how much he made that day. As this was an ordinary occurrence, I didn't pay him much mind until I heard, "Uhhm uh-oh." I peeked over my shoulder and saw him standing there, Red Bull in one hand, staring at the cash register, which was covered in liquid. I quickly looked back to my work and pretended to not hear him. He tried to wipe up the mess, but I don't think he realized how much he spilled, because he missed the splashes on the counter behind him, the bit that was on the phone, and only noticed the puddle on the floor after he stepped in it a couple times.
After swiping the area with some paper towels a couple times, he went back to trying to print out the day's report. He pushed a couple buttons, which didn't do anything, then pushed one of the number keys. The register made its error sound, a high-pitched "eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee" noise. He pushed a couple more buttons then shut the register off. He did this several more times while I pretended to bury my head in work then finally went in the back so he wouldn't see me laughing.
After several minutes of pushing buttons, turning the register on and off, and trying to stop the error message with no avail, he picked up the phone to call one of the other ladies that works there. "Maybe Laura will know something about this," I heard him mutter.
"Hi Laura. I have a problem. The register is...acting up." He explained the situation about the beeping and buttons not working and asked if she knew anything about trying to fix it. Finally I heard him explain, "Well...here's the thing. I might have dribbled a little Red Bull on the register, and I think it might have gone under the New Balance key." Please note that the drink had actually puddled on most of the front of the register, and the New Balance key wasn't the problem at all.
After a lot of hemming and hawing and deciding the problem was unfixable for the time being and he would just leave it for Laura to deal with in the morning, boss man made to leave. "Doc!" I called, just as he was walking out the door. "What....um...what do you want me to do about running the report and everything tonight?" He stared at me. "That....is a question." Long pause. "Laura will do it in the morning," and out he walked.
Later on I was making reminder calls to patients to confirm their appointments for today, and as I was talking on the phone I noticed that the speaker part was dripping Red Bull. As I looked around I noticed a lot of splatters that we missed before, and a stain on the carpet that the doc didn't quite manage to make go away when he was scrubbing at it. The entire front section of the office smelled like Red Bull, and the carpet was a little sticky. I avoided that area for the rest of the night and kept myself busy filing things away until it was time to close.
We'll see if he follows his own rules from now on (but somehow I doubt it).

Edit: tl;dr? My boss spilled Red Bull on our cash register and f***ed it up. It was real funny.

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