I think I have discovered why I have trouble being alone. Not alone as in single, but alone as in not around other people for extended periods of time. It's not that I can't ever have alone time or spend some moments by myself, but generally speaking, I'd much rather be spending my time with other people....or, one other person, specifically.
It is my belief that life is meant to be shared with others. I could delve into why I feel this way, but it would be long and drawn-out, convoluted and most likely uninteresting to the general population. It's not something I've really even completely figured out for myself. But I feel it deep down, and I have to trust that I believe it to be true. Life is meant to be shared with others. Moments that you spend alone feel wasted to me, unless you're being extremely productive or creative. There are exceptions to every rule.
Why do I have this philosophy? I have no idea. Furthermore, if I really feel this way, why don't I spend more time with friends? I don't have many, but there are a few out there. Maybe I'm just making up this world-view to justify my need to spend every waking moment with...you know. That boy. That boy I like a lot.
That's not the only reason though. I'm not a completely dependent person, but I do have much more fun when I'm with other people. Other people like myself; let's be clear. My latest job consisted of me pouring alcohol down the throats of already far too intoxicated individuals while they danced around and stuffed their faces with cheese stix and pizza. Now there was a job where I spent a lot of time around other people. But waitressing at a bar isn't really my thing, and partying with crazy drunks isn't quite up my alley either. But spending time with people I have a lot in common with seems to make living life that much better. Experiences are better shared. Maybe it's the memories you look back on later. Maybe it's that deep-down satisfaction of connecting with another individual that validates your beliefs and points of view. Maybe it's just nice to have a friend.
Either way, this is why I'm NOT a miserable and depressing company-whore; I'm just an awesome chick who likes to share, live, and love life.